“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”
(Matthew 7:24–25, ESV)
A Letter to Begin Our Life
On the day we got married, I wrote Dallas a letter. Now, let me be honest: I am not a “love note” kind of gal. My love language is not words of affirmation (shoutout to all the other “acts of service” ladies out there). I tend to have more of a “why do I need to tell you good job for doing something you should’ve done anyway” mentality. Yikes, I know.
But I knew words of affirmation was Dallas’ love language. I knew a letter would mean a lot to him, and I wanted to start this thing off on the right foot. So there I sat, paper and pen in hand the day before our wedding, having no idea what to say. Sure, I could tell him how great he was and profess my undying love, but I wanted to say something deeper. Something that would stand the test of time fifty years from now.
And what came to my mind at that moment was Matthew 7.
Building on the Rock
If you have a Bible—and I hope you do—turn with me to Matthew chapter 7.
In Matthew 7:24–27, Jesus uses a parable to compare two types of people: those who build their house on the sand, and those who build their house on the rock. The people who built their house on the sand are those who build their lives on worldly promises and their own strength. In contrast, those who build their lives on the rock are the people who make Jesus and His teachings the foundation of their lives.
So that’s what I wrote in my letter—Matthew 7:24–25.
That was it.
I knew that if we could determine from the beginning to build our lives on Jesus—if we could “hear these words of His and do them”—we would be like the wise man who built his house on the rock. And when the trials of life came, when “the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house,” we would still stand. Not because of our own strength, but because of His, and because He had promised to never leave us or forsake us.
We declared this truth over our marriage and future family on that spring day in March of 2014. And to the best of our imperfect ability, we have lived by it. We have made a conscious decision, day after day, to bring our entire lives under the reign and rule of Christ, so that we might persevere to the end.
When the Storms Were Still Far Away
During the first year of our marriage, I often wondered why everyone acted like this was supposed to be so challenging. What was I supposed to be gearing up for? This felt like a happily ever after to me. I had a great husband who loved me well and loved the Lord with all his heart. Life was good.
The rain, the wind, and the floods hadn’t come yet.
But if I’ve learned anything from motherhood, it’s that nothing can call up a storm quite like a child can.
Our Storm: Dani’s Story
Fast forward one year into marriage.
I want to preface what I’m about to share by saying our two children are the greatest gifts from God. Being their parents is the single greatest joy of our lives. We are eternally grateful that God entrusted them to us, and we make it our mission not to take that for granted. We also never struggled with fertility—a blessing we don’t take lightly—and our hearts and prayers go out to those who do. Some of our closest friends bear that burden every day, and we believe God hears you and knows your heartache.
That said, pregnancy and postpartum motherhood are not seasons of my life that I look back on with joy or gladness. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows for me, for my husband, or even for our oldest daughter.
When I was pregnant with Dani, I gained seventy pounds. I went from shopping in the petite section wearing a size 2 to busting out of my maternity dresses. At thirty-two weeks, I went into preterm labor, which the doctors were thankfully able to stop. I was put on bedrest. At thirty-four weeks, I developed high blood pressure, and through twice-weekly ultrasounds, we learned that Dani was losing blood flow through the umbilical cord.
At thirty-seven weeks, I was induced. After about twelve hours of labor, at 5:03 p.m., Dani was born. But Dani came into the world not breathing.
I’ll never forget the image of my doctor laying my first baby on my chest and looking down to see her limp and gray, not responding. I can still see the nurse grabbing her from me, hear my doctor yelling into the hall for help, and remember the look on my husband’s face—longing for him to tell me it would be okay, but knowing he couldn’t.
I can still hear the prayer Dallas prayed in those terrifying minutes:
“Lord, you are the God who gives breath and life. Please give it to our daughter right now. And if you don’t, you are going to have to make us okay with that.”
I vividly remember thinking, “How am I going to walk out of this hospital without a baby?”
And then, I heard the best sound in the world—a crying baby.
God answered our prayer that day, and His faithfulness has been a powerful reminder for me ever since. But what followed for me personally was shock, trauma, and a baby who, once she finally started crying that day, seemed like she might never stop.
Parenthood, I am convinced, is both the most wonderful and most terrifying role God gives us because your entire heart is wrapped up in it.
It was a tumultuous couple of years for our little family of three as we navigated first-time parenthood, processing the trauma of Dani’s birth, and caring for a baby who seemed determined to hate us most days.
To add to it all, Dani had a cephalohematoma—a pocket of fluid on her skull caused by suction during childbirth. It looked like a protrusion on the side of her head, and just what every new mom wants: people staring at your baby and wondering what’s wrong.
Most of the time, we were told, a cephalohematoma resolves naturally. But we weren’t most cases. We were the 2% whose baby’s hematoma calcified and hardened permanently.
And if that wasn’t enough, we couldn’t figure out how to feed her. Formula after formula, bottle after bottle, doctor after doctor, nothing seemed to help. Dani spent most of her day screaming or projectile vomiting. She aspirated regularly and sometimes stopped breathing, and we had to suction her to clear her airways.
It felt like endless trauma.
I remember leaving work at the pharmacy, pulling into my mom’s driveway to pick up Dani, and praying the whole way there, “Lord, please just let her not be crying tonight.” But as soon as I stepped out of the car, I could hear her wailing from inside the house.
A few months in, Dallas looked at me and said, “What have we done? Why did we think having a baby was a good idea?”
And I told him, “Never again.”
We spent months going from doctor to doctor. Pediatricians, neurologists, plastic surgeons, ENTs—the list was endless. Most of that time is a blur now, but one thing stands out: We survived. With the help of the Lord, we endured. And He was faithful.
Now, Dani is a healthy, vibrant almost-nine-year-old whose biggest issue is a not-so-occasional pre-teen attitude. Praise the Lord!
Not Every Story Ends This Way
We walked out of that hospital on July 4, 2016, with a baby in our arms. But not every parent gets that ending.
Some leave with empty arms and broken hearts.
Some never experience all the long nights, the feeding struggles, and the endless doctor visits.
They just walk back into their everyday lives, carrying a grief that never fully goes away.
I often wonder, If Dani had never taken that first breath, would I have still been able to say “it is well with my soul”? Would I have been able to live with empty arms?
Storms Are Inevitable
While I’ve never walked the road of losing a child, my family has suffered deep losses in other ways. There have been seasons where I literally couldn’t stand under the weight of grief.
But every time, without fail, He held me up.
And I am convinced that if we hadn’t determined all those years ago to build our life on the Rock, we would have collapsed.
How Are You Building?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I haven’t encountered any storms yet,” let me tell you: You just haven’t lived long enough.
Storms will come.
And when they do, you’d better have a foundation that can hold.
What are you basing your life on?
Most of us make decisions based on three things: our money, our comfort, and our kids.
But none of those will hold you up when “the rain falls, and the floods come, and the winds blow and beat against your house.”
Building your house on the Rock is not a one-time event.
It’s a daily grind.
I didn’t just declare it once on March 22, 2014, and coast from there. I have to get up every day and fight to build my life on Christ and not on the world.
If Your House Has Fallen
Maybe today you realize your house was built on the wrong foundation.
Maybe it’s already collapsing around you.
The good news is: God rebuilds.
He is in the business of tearing down what is broken to rebuild what will last.
Jesus said in John 16:33:
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
It’s not too late.
Start today.
Lay a new foundation on the Rock.
He will do the heavy lifting for you.
Final Prayer
My prayer for you today is simple:
Stop building your house on the world.
Start building your house on Him.
So that when—not if—the storms come, you will still be standing.
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2 responses to “Building on the Rock When the Storms are Still Far Away ”
Thank you for sharing this. I think sharing our hard stuff with others is a ways to share Jesus. Because without Jesus, I know I would NEVER have survived so many of the hardships I’ve endured in my 62 years of living. And those “hard things” Jesus made into sweet things even though they were bitter, at times, and painful, and left indelible scars, because HE carried me through, moment by moment. Some of the hard things may never end this side of Heaven, but I am blessed knowing I am not on my own because He goes before me.
Jenna,
I love you more and more everyday ❤️ Your “offerings” in these blogs are priceless AND encouraging (I know words of affirmation aren’t your love language, so I’ll pick an act of service to show you my appreciation 😉)
Keep on keeping on, sweet friend… the Rock you’re building on is STRONG… and there’s plenty of room for more folks, right?!
#jesusISeverything