At the start of each summer, ever since I became a teacher, I embark on the purging of my entire house. Honestly, we’ve probably spent most of the school year in what I call “survival mode,” where we push things to the side into an “I’ll deal with that later” pile. My entire family anticipates this annual cleansing. They start staking their claim on anything of value before the maniacal throwing out of all things deemed “not a necessity” to me begins. All the clutter and disorganization that has accumulated throughout the hectic school year has got to go! And once it’s done, I can finally relax and enjoy the rest of my summer.

Closet Clean-Out and a Harsh Reality

My oldest daughter, Dani, and I started with her closet the day after school let out this year. Dani is 8—almost 9—but she’s recently had a tremendous growth spurt. Upon cleaning out her closet, we realized she basically had nothing left to wear. To emphasize just how extreme this growth has been, she’s been stealing clothes from my closet for the past couple of weeks until I could find time to take her shopping. She’s basically a 9-year-old in a 14-year-old body. The clothing struggle has become very real at our house.

Confessions of a Reluctant Shopper

Let me confess: I absolutely hate clothes shopping. I’d happily wear the same four comfortable outfits for the rest of my life. But what I hate more than shopping for myself is shopping for Dani—or, should I say, shopping with Dani.

This wasn’t always the case. Until about a year ago, I could fill up my online shopping cart at Old Navy, Target, and Carter’s without any input from her, and she’d joyfully wear whatever I picked. Then the summer before third grade hit, and suddenly she had strong opinions about everything. I vividly remember back-to-school shopping last year and thinking I’d rather be in purgatory. We disagreed on styles, and nothing “fit right” according to her. We left the store in tears and frustration. That day, I swore all future shopping would be done online.

The Junior Section Dilemma

Then came the end of third grade. Dani’s feet grew from a size 5 to a women’s 8.5 in one school year. This meant we had to graduate from the kids’ section at Target to the juniors department. I was filled with dread. Online order after online order only left us with more returns for Dallas to drop off, and still, she had nothing to wear.

So, this week, I finally surrendered. We would have to shop in person. Heaven help me.

Some of you might think I’m overreacting—but then, you probably don’t know Dani. She’s been “a lot” since birth, and she lives up to that reputation every single day. Bless her. And us.

Three Days of Frustration

On Tuesday, we began our shopping spree. I had a list of basics she needed and gave her a small allowance for “fun extras.” I had read my Bible, filled my soul with Scripture, prayed for gentleness and patience—and off we went.

We hit Target, Old Navy, the Haywood Mall—store after store. And here’s what I realized quickly: this wasn’t just difficult because Dani is picky. It was difficult because our culture has bought the lie that modesty no longer matters. Everything in her size exposed her belly, her butt, her chest—or some combination of the three.

Y’all. We shopped for three straight days. All day Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And all we walked away with was a handful of items. At one point, Dani sat in the back seat of my car and cried from sheer frustration.

A Defining Moment

And you want to know what I, in the flesh, wanted to do at that moment? I wanted to give in. To take her back in the store and let her buy the crop tops, the short shorts, the low-cut dresses—because “everyone else is doing it.”

But this was a defining moment. What kind of young woman do I want to raise?

One who gives into the culture and buys the lies Satan is selling?
Or one who stands firm on truth—even when it’s hard and no one else is standing with her?

I chose the latter. The narrow road. The hard path that leads to life—not the wide, easy road that leads to destruction. That’s what I want for my daughters.

A Modesty Conversation We Needed

This week, God gave me a gift: an opportunity to model conviction and have a heartfelt conversation with Dani about what it means to honor Christ with our bodies. Because let’s be honest—the woman of today’s culture and the woman of Scripture could not be more different.

The Bible hasn’t changed. It still calls us to modesty.

“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control.”
—1 Timothy 2:9

Some might argue that “modesty” is subjective—and to a degree, yes. But here’s how AI defined it (and I found this surprisingly helpful):

“Modesty in clothing refers to wearing clothes that cover the body in a way that avoids drawing attention to oneself or being overly revealing… prioritizing clothing that covers the chest, shoulders, and legs.”

I want to highlight that phrase: “in a way that avoids drawing attention.”
Modest dress is not just about us. It’s also about others. Scripture says that even if something isn’t a sin for us, if it causes another to stumble, then it becomes a sin against Christ.

“It’s not my fault he looked at me” isn’t a valid argument before God.

Modesty Is About the Heart

Yes, body types vary, and some girls have a harder time finding modest options. But that doesn’t excuse us from the standard. Godliness doesn’t bend to body types. The same call applies to all.

I’m not saying we should all wear floor-length dresses and turtlenecks. But let’s be real: we know modesty when we see it. And we know when we’re crossing the line.

“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.”
—Proverbs 11:22

Discretion is beautiful. Promiscuity is not.

Three Final Thoughts

1. Bring Your Body Under the Rule of Christ

Our bodies belong to God, not to the world.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit… You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
—1 Corinthians 6:19–20

Jesus paid for your body with His own blood. Are you honoring that sacrifice?

2. Modesty Flows from a Heart That Loves Jesus

If Jesus doesn’t have your heart, He won’t have your wardrobe.

As John Piper puts it:

“Until God has become your treasure… until the word of God is more precious than gold… your attitude toward your clothing and appearance will be controlled by forces that don’t honor Christ.”

3. You Can’t Pray for One Thing and Live Another

I pray every day that my daughters will marry godly men. But how can I expect them to attract men of godly character if I’m teaching them to dress in ways that don’t reflect godly character?

“Worldly actions attract worldly people. Godly actions attract godly people.”

We say we want our daughters clothed in strength and dignity—but do we make them dress with dignity?

Choosing the Narrow Path

As we walked out of the last store on Thursday, frustrated but determined, I knew we had done something important. We had chosen the narrow road.

“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction… But the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.”
—Matthew 7:13–14

Jesus warns us: the way of life isn’t easy, popular, or convenient. But it is worth it.

And when it comes to raising daughters in today’s world—eternity is worth it.

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